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Relationships: Picking up the Broken Pieces

The video above is of Build A Better Us co-founder BJ Thompson talking about relationships, marriage, and dating, as he sheds light on them to give us some biblical insight.

Picking up the Broken Pieces

As a child, there was possibly nothing more nerve wrecking than cleaning and accidentally breaking one of your mother’s expensive dishes. The feeling of helplessness, the regret of careless actions, and the pain of knowing no matter how bad you felt, there was no way to take it back.

Similarly, there is nothing more devastating than having your heart broken. Unlike the dish that can be easily replaced, a broken heart is something many us carry for years at time or from relationship to relationship. How do you recover from a broken heart? Here are a few encouragements:

1.     Be Honest: He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. (Rev 21:4)

Be honest with God and yourself, a broken heart is painful. So many of us accepted the lie that ignoring or downplaying pain will make it disappear. No, ignoring pain doesn’t make it disappear, it causes it to manifest in brand new dysfunctions. If pain were just a figment of our imagination, why would Jesus say that one day he’d take it away? Pain is real! And starting the healing process means we need to be honest about our feelings.

2.     Get Connected: Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:11)

Get connected to healthy people. Just because we’re wrestling with the pain of a broken relationship doesn’t mean we don’t have a deep need for healthy relationships. Even when Adam was in right relationship with God, he was alone & God said it was not good. Friends not only help us process pain; they help us carry the heavy burden of a broken heart. Find ways to connect with healthy friends, regardless of your relationship status.

3.     Believe God: And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Believe that God’s ability to work isn’t hindered by our obedience or mistakes. Too often we believe that our mistakes or success help or hinder Gods will for our lives. They don’t! Think about all the mistakes you’ve made and how God was able to produce good anyhow. Believe that regardless of how much of the pain is your fault, good can still come out of it.

4.     Have Fun: To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. (1 Cor 7:8)

Singleness isn’t a curse; it’s just a relationship status. Have you heard the saying, “Married people want to be single. Single people want to be married.” Both have unique opportunity to experience life from a particular vantage point. Single people have the freedom to experience things with little to no restriction, but married people are obligate to experience life with the restriction of their spouse. Don’t waste your single season sulking about not being married. Have fun! Love others well. Do things that only a person with little restriction could do.

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BJ was born and raised in Dallas, Tx and came to know Jesus at 19. He and his beautiful wife Vanja have been married for 12 years and have 3 children. For 3 years he served with recording artist Lecrae at Reachlife and completed a 3-year Pastoral Residency at Fellowship Memphis church, under Bryan Loritts. Over the past 10 years he has partnered with several churches and ministries to help develop marriages, form small groups, and train leaders globally. Currently BJ serves as the co-founder (2008) of Build a Better Us. He has a Bachelors degree in Sociology from the University of North Texas and a Masters in Christian Studies from Union University. Follow him @BJ116.

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