There seems to be an unusual fascination with marriage and relationships amongst us young believers. It may seem like a ‘girly thing’ to focus on marriage, but don’t be surprised. The guys are having just as many conversations about marriage as the ladies. It’s a serious conversation to be had, but why has marriage become so captivating?
I don’t know about you, but it seems like the marriage bug has bitten everyone! It seems like every time I log into Facebook, three people have gotten engaged or there was a wedding last night. Of course, you say “Congratulations” because that’s the friendly thing to do. But if you were honest with yourself, how often does their relationship status cause you to evaluate, get angry, or even sad? What if marriage is not for you?
Everyone is not called to be married.
It’s ok if you have to take a moment to comprehend that. It’s a reality that everyone will not have the gift of marriage.
Against popular belief, the single life is not horrible. Everyone in the Bible wasn’t married. There was no mentioning of John the Baptist or Jesus being married. Paul wanted everyone to be single like he was, so they could spend more time witnessing. (1 Cor. 7:6-7) “Everyone” wasn’t married; and “everyone” isn’t married now.
The problem is not the marriage status, it’s that some are unhappy. A marriage can’t and won’t fix that. Until you stop looking at singleness as a curse, you won’t be able to appreciate the blessing of it. Your moment, mission, and marriage are all reasons to be happy in your singleness.
This is the moment in life where God has called you to be single. It’s not by mistake or mishap. He didn’t forget about you. Paul was in prison, free, working, traveling, poor, and rich, but through all of that he said ‘whatever state I am in, I will be content.’(Phil. 4:11) Maybe you’ve been in a relationship, on the brink of engagement, never been seriously involved, or what have you, but you have to be content with your current state. Know that God loves you enough to give you what you need when you need it.He will not keep it from you, not give it to you a minute too soon. Trust God even if you disagree with his timing. He’s in control.
Your purpose may require singleness. Have you ever thought about the people God wants to touch by using you? He needs all of you available to fulfill what He has called you to. If you are to be a missionary to a small town in Alaska, you can’t just leave a pregnant wife, a 3 year old, and the dog to say ‘I’m going to fulfill my purpose.’ God doesn’t work out of order. Before Eve was ever on the scene, Adam was given responsibility and a job. Handle your current assignments before focusing on a relationship. So often we can get caught up in what we want, that we put it before what God has called us to. Seek first the Kingdom…the rest will take care of itself.
Your current marriage
Whether you knew it or not, you’re already married. Christ calls us His bride. When we accepted Him as Lord, we joined with Christ as His ‘wife’. Husbands are given responsibility based on Christ. The covenant we made with Him needs attention as with any relationship. God is a jealous God. He wants our hearts. If we say we love Him, we should seek every opportunity to talk to Him through prayer and the word, worship Him in song, appreciate Him by sharing our gifts, serve Him by serving others. Some know how to have a successful relationship with someone, but lack a relationship with The One. Prioritize your life. Check your heart.
Of course, no one wants to be that grumpy old person with 14 pets and no friends. That’s not the epitome of singleness. Look around you. I’m sure there are some happily single people in your family, church, and peer group. Truth be told, it may be hard to find happy singles in your circle. It’s not about who’s around you, but Who’s around you.
When you know where your joy lies, the uncertainty of marriage isn’t overwhelming. Find contentment in Christ. Give Him your heart before you trying to give it to someone else. It is undeniable that people will let you down.
There is no headache or heartache in Jesus.
He will always be there for you, hears your cry, comforts you, befriends you, gives you a peace, and reassures you that everything will be alright. Try Him for yourself. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.
Whether married or single, are you content in Christ?