I can only tell you guys the truth. After Marriage Isn’t for Everyone: Dealing with Singleness Part 1, I attended a total of three weddings. Talk about having to eat your words! I had to be content with my state of being in the audience and not being the bride. I had to truly be happy for my friends. So glad that I didn’t get caught up in the ‘hype.’
Along with those weddings, I also had the opportunity to learn so much from Ephesians 5:21-33, which shares exactly how God wants the family to be.
While studying these verses, I was able to speak with some older women and men. Some married, some divorced, and others widowed. More of our conversation will be revealed later, but something that stuck out, was the fact that they supported one another’s decisions. Many times as young adults, instead of supporting our friends and family who are making the covenant of marriage, we often compare our state to theirs.
Comparing only creates confusion.
We often get so caught up in seeking what others have and what we want, that we don’t seek what God wants for us. By chasing after things, including a ring, we often become angry, disgruntled, frustrated, and even bitter with ourselves and God.
Why are you chasing a ring anyway? Have you ever thought about what is it that you want? So you want the flowers, tuxes, wedding dress, fun reception, and awesome pictures. But what about the marriage? What about the family? What about the sacrifice? What about the submission? Yes, SUBMISSION. This seemed to be a hot topic amongst the older crowd, but it is also so misunderstood.
1. What is submission?
Submission as defined by Webster is ‘the condition of being humble, or compliant; to yield oneself to the authority or will of another; surrender.’ These are the same definitions as the Greek word used in these verses. As Christians, we are called to submit to God. God included submission within the family structure. It doesn’t mean to let someone take advantage of you. If they love you, they won’t.
2. Who submits?
Ephesians 5:21 begins with a key word: SUBMIT. How can you know how to submit to someone when you haven’t submitted to Christ? Often women are taught the most about submission, but a husband and a wife are called to submit one to another. In vs. 22-24, the wives are instructed to submit to their husbands as they do unto Christ. This means that one must know how to be fully surrendered to Christ before trying to submit to someone else. Stop the pressure on the march to the alter and start the process of yielding your will to God’s.
3. Who to submit to?
Just as Christ laid down His life for us, in any marriage, the husband is called to love his wife enough to lay down his life. Not only is marriage a call for the ultimate sacrifice, but also daily sacrificing in denying self. I spoke with about 20 people. All of whom are married or engaged about their favorite part of marriage. No one said submission. It’s not fun. It’s not easy. (Romans 8:7)
There’s a worship song by William McDowell entitled “I Give Myself Away.” Part of the song says
‘All my dreams, all my plans/ Lord, I place them in Your Hands…
My life is not my own/To You I belong/I give myself to You’
I’m sure you may have heard this song, but it is screaming submission!
Work on submitting to Christ.
Breaking your pride doesn’t happen overnight. Take time out to make sure you want exactly what He wants. It takes humility to give up your plans in order to align and obey with His. But it is always worth it. (1 Peter 5:5) He won’t lead you astray.(Prov. 3:5-6) This is an awesome project to work on while you’re single, not after you’re married. Instead of being sad and lonely, take on a personal task of learning how to submit.
How is your submission to Christ coming along?